When it came to naming our beloved daughter Dessa Marie, Rob and I didn’t want to arbitrarily choose a name that sounded cute or fit a momentary trend. Naming a child is such a monumental task because it is a decision that our little one would always have to live with. As a result, the two of us spent months trying to decide on the perfect name. And since we didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl, Rob and I had double duty as we sought to select two perfect potential names for our baby.
We’ve received several comments and questions from friends and readers alike inquiring about the story behind our little Dessa’s beautiful name. As many people suspected, there is a story (and some very special women) behind the name, which I am thrilled and honored to share with you today.
When we began the process of selecting our child’s name, Rob and I began the way most couples do: with a book of baby names. We each took turns flipping through the book and marked any name that made an impression on us. After we both had scanned the entire book, I wrote each name that was marked in the book onto sticky notes: pink for girl and blue for boy.
Once we had a pile of papers with possible baby names, we created a visual system to help us narrow down our favorites. We tacked all of the post it notes onto the top section of a cork board in a random order. Then we slowly began filtering through the list of names. Each time one of us wanted to rule out a name, we moved it down to the bottom of the board. We didn’t throw any names away, just in case we changed our minds later on. With time, our favorite names rose to the top, while the names we didn’t love as much sunk to the bottom of the board.
So how did we finally decide on the name Dessa?
I’ve always been close and had a special relationship with my maternal grandmother, Odessa. She often babysat me and went on family vacations with us. When I worked as a bank teller during my summers in college, I would often spend my lunch breaks visiting her and my grandfather.
Later on, as I matured, my grandmother became a bit of a confidant and was someone that I felt comfortable discussing my relationships with. I was the last of my same-age cousins to marry and she was always encouraging me to have faith and eager to know when I had finally found “the one.” It was during this phase of my life that my grandfather passed away and Odessa’s health and mobility became more of a challenge. She had a particularly difficult time during the week of our wedding and we weren’t sure if she was going to be able to attend. I cried tears of joy when I looked over my shoulder during our ceremony and see my grandmother wheeled up to the very first row – she is just that important to me.
I loved the thought of naming my daughter after my grandmother and had added my grandmother’s name to the list early on. Rob and I went back and forth debating whether it would be a good fit for our daughter. Unfortunately, every time we envisioned naming our daughter “Odessa”, it sounded a little too mature for a sweet little girl.
And then one day, when I was about seven months pregnant, I went to visit my grandmother on my way home from teaching. We sat and chatted about all the usual things: how I was feeling, baby preparations, and the latest scuttlebutt at the assisted living complex where she lives. On that particular day, grandma told me all about a woman working at the center named Dessa. You see, my grandmother’s name is Odessa, but everyone always just calls her Dessa. This was a big event for my grandma because she had never met anyone else with her name before.
She and I kept talking as usual, but I couldn’t get the name Dessa out of my head. I had never considered the name Dessa before. It was the perfect nod to my grandmother, but the name had a softness and sweetness that could be very fitting for an infant, a little girl, or even eventually printed on a wedding invitation. (Yes, I considered every possible instance my little girl’s name would be used and the wedding invitation was huge for me.)
I was instantly sold on the name Dessa, but I wasn’t sure how Rob would feel about it. He was, after all, the one who moved the name Odessa down to the bottom of the board early on. To my surprise and relief, Rob had the same reaction as I did when I suggested naming our daughter Dessa. He tried out the name, let it roll off his tongue, repeated it a few times, and then nodded and agreed that while Odessa wasn’t a good fit, Dessa was certainly worth consideration.
We never did get around to making a Dessa sticky note for the board. Rather, we just moved Odessa up from the bottom and knew that it was a placeholder for the shortened name.
As I neared the end of my pregnancy, we eventually narrowed our list down and selected Dessa as our favorite girl name. Rob and I had agreed to keep our name selections a surprise until after the baby was born and the suspense was killing me. I wanted to have a baby girl so badly just so I could tell my grandma the good news.
I was overjoyed when our little peanut was born and Rob let me know that we had a daughter. We contacted our immediate family and friends and I asked them to please keep the news under wraps until I had a chance to talk to grandma myself. My mom went to visit Odessa and Facetimed with me and baby Dessa at the hospital my grandmother could see her great-granddaughter and learn about her namesake.
A few days after we were released from the hospital, Rob and I took Dessa to meet Odessa for the very first time. The experience was beyond precious and will be one of those sweet moments between my daughter and her beloved great-grandmother that I will always remember and cherish.
Be still my heart. This one is getting framed for sure.
I will always and forever treasure Dessa’s first name and her connection to my grandmother. But that isn’t the only special part of my baby’s name – her middle name has meaning as well. We didn’t just want our daughter’s name to be significant to me and my side of the family. Rather, we wanted to create a connection to Rob’s family as well. We decided on the middle name of Marie as a nod to Rob’s mother and sister – who both share a middle name with our little Dessa.
I absolutely love that we selected a first and middle name for our daughter with personal significance to both sides of our family. I love even more that Dessa’s name connects her with strong, passionate women with great love in their hearts. But most of all I love how much those women already love our little Dessa.
And that, my friends, is the story behind our baby girl’s name.
Such a sweet story! I cried when I saw the beautiful pic of your grandmother kissing Dessa Marie. What a great gift you have given her. :)
I cried too! I also have a strong connection with my grandma and seeing that photo with Odessa and Dessa made me cry. Such a beautiful name, and glad that Rob’s family is part of the name too!.
Love it! We named our second son after relatives too. My maternal grandpa never got to meet him as he passed away several years before. I was close Witt my grandpa and told my husband that if we were to have another boy I wanted the middle name to be Clarence after my grandpa. My husband said okay-later to find out it was to make me happy at a really low point in my life. Well I reminded him of his promise. My paternal grandma I am very close with. Her name was Leona and everyone called her Lee. Well we named my son Liam and we call him Lee. She didn’t want anyone named after her but it is his own unique name with a shared nickname. She rolled her eyes the first time I called him Lee in front of her. So Liam Clarence after two very important people in my life. So I love hearing the stories behind names. It is always special with family members too!
I love it! I already know what I want my future daughter’s name to be– Evelyn Kay. Evelyn after my Mamaw and her mother (my great-grandmother!), and Kay is my middle name as well as my mom’s. Also, my two sisters middle names are Eve and Lynn as a nod to my Mamaw. I think it would be so neat to have a daughter named after so many people in my family!
Such a beautiful story!!! 💗
Aww! That’s just the sweetest. So glad your grandma got to meet little Dessa. How special.
What a sweet story. So glad you get to share the specialness of your grandma with your daughter. My grandparents are very special to me and I’m so glad I got the chance to share them with my son.
Awwwww what beautiful photos. Your baby girl is so adorable… To have all that love all TOGETHER is priceless. Made me think of my gramma who is up in heaven sadly with my mother and father too. My gramma has always been my rock. Cherish every second…. What a special post and thanks for sharing your world…
What a beautiful story!! My father had a sister named Dessie. I had never heard Odessa or Dessa as a name, and was very curious about it! Thank you for sharing!
O Maria and Rob, that is the sweetest story ever, I can only imagine how honored your grandmother must be, I have always loved your grandma, ( and grandfather) I always enjoyed our conversations at family events. Dessa will love the story about her name sake.
Loved reading this! Maria, I totally see you in your dear Grandmother.
Thank you Kate! I often see photos of myself and think I look just like her too!
Beautiful Story! And Beautiful Daughter! Congrats!
How beautiful and sweet! I must admit I am crying as well…. maybe it is my own pregnancy hormones! My husband and I are also keeping the gender a surprise and might copy your idea for choosing a name for our boy or girl. Blessings to you!
Beautiful story! My first son is named after his grandfather (Henry) and his great-grandfather (Raymond). We loved using family names, even though Henry is climbing the popularity charts these days! I’m sure you are enjoying every moment with her. By the way, I got a big kick out of your name board! So organized, I bet you are a wonderful teacher :-)
I love the name Henry Raymond! I’m very visual so we NEEDED a board to help us decide on a name. And organization is the only way I stay sane!
I did the same thing – had to consider all the ways my baby’s name would be used. Although we didn’t go as far as the wedding invitation – we talked about graduation and hearing the name as our son or daughter crossed the stage. Our son, born July 1, 2015 has the name “Joseph Robert”. It rolls off the tongue and I can see his name being called as he graduates. Like you, it wasn’t easy. My husband is going to be a pastor so we chose a biblical name, and he shares my husbands first name as a middle name, which was passed down from his family. I love hearing stories beind the name – thanks for sharing!
Rob’s name is Robert Joseph! Such a great combination :)
Maria & Rob, I enjoyed your story so much on how you names “Dessa” with so much Love & Family meaning. You ALL are so truly Blessed. The pictures you included in your story were so warm & friendly. I couldn’t help but notice from picture to picture how Dessa would be so calm & peaceful when she was all wrapped up. When she was just held and not wrapped, she just was not as happy. You truly have a “Wrapped up Cuddly” little Girl. Enjoy each and every day!!
Awww!! Love it, those grandmothers are so special, aren’t they?!
I have to warn you, you’re also very on trend with her name!! At the pediatric hospital I work at, this name is popping up like crazy! Double the pleasure :)
I read this post and finally have time to come by and comment. This is such a sweet story and one that I’m sure Dessa will love hearing about it when she’s older. Such a sweet way to honor your grandmother and an adorable name at that!
I hope things are going well for your little family!
Congratulations and thanks for sharing such a sweet story about where Dessa’s name came from.
Btw, is that your grandmother’s Jean Nate on the table?
Yes it is!
Maria,
Hello! I had to respond as I felt so touched by your story! My name is also Dessa Marie (last name also starts with G!). The name Dessa was from my maternal great grandmother (middle name was Dessa) and Marie was from my paternal grandmother as it is her middle name. While Im almost 28, its so nice to see a new little Dessa Marie in the world!
Thank you for sharing such an sweet story!
Oh my goodness, I LOVE that you shared your story so, so much! It’s so nice to e-meet you. What a small world that there are so many parallels in your story. Blessings to you!
Beautiful name & what a beautiful story & family connection to boot! Our children all have special names with stories & special meanings too. Our youngest Victoria Grace was our adopted angel.. we ..um.. okay (I) was SO nuts naming her, I changed my mind at the last minute & a month after her birth I KNEW I made a huge mistake. The name did not fit her, I could not get used to it and after a month of that (nd right before her Christening) I called my attorney & we changed it back to out 1st pick. Well…. that was just yesterday, wasn’t it?? Victoria Grace graduates High School next Friday! She loves her name & is glad I stood my ground & changed it to the original name we chose for her. ~So hard to believe our precious gift will be grown soon. Dessa Marie is a beautiful name… and OH MY do you look like your beautiful grandma! The family resemblance is extraordinary! Enjoy every moment with BOTH of your girls.. they go by SO fast!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I was terrified to commit to her name until after Dessa was born because I was very worried that I would see her and change my mind about the name. I completely understand why you changed your mind. When it just doesn’t feel right, it would drive me crazy too. I’m glad to hear that you and Victoria are both happy with your decision to change her name. And YES, the family resemblance is quite strong among the women in our family. I have a cousin who looks like my twin! It’s nice that we look so much like the people we love.
Her name and story is just so beautiful and touching.