We have a new form of late night entertainment in the Gavin household and it seems as though I am at the center of it. For the past few weeks, the strangest thing happens when I’m asleep. I don’t know if this is a phase or the latest long-term change in my life to come from being a mom. I hope to God that it’s just a phase, but only time will tell. Whatever the cause, Rob and I have had many laughs as we recall my antics from the previous night of sleep.
So what exactly is happening? Well, I’m not sure of the exact term for it, but I’m pretty sure it’s related to sleep walking. Except I never leave the bed. And even my thoughts are all about what I perceive is currently happening in our bed.
I’ve never been one to sleep walk and, if you don’t count the restless, uncomfortable nights of my pregnancy, I’ve been gifted with the ability to sleep deeply and well in my own bed. But these days, it has become a regular occurrence to have my sleep interrupted in the middle of the night and often follows the exact same pattern.
I often wake up in the middle of the night absolutely convinced that Dessa is in bed with us and dangerously close to falling off the edge of the bed. Convinced. I sit up and it’s like I can see Dessa bumbling her way toward the edge of the bed. And this dream state isn’t passive. Oh no. I become an active participant – often moving covers off of my body in an attempt to get to her more quickly. One time, I even launched myself across Rob to reach his edge of the bed because I was certain that Dessa was about to fall and I had to grab her quickly. Poor Rob wasn’t expecting that type of abrupt wake-up call during the wee hours of the morning.
These strange dreams have happened so often that I’m getting better at sensing when the things I see may not quite meet reality. Lately, when I sense myself reaching for a baby who may not actually be present, I stare at the end of the bed long and hard for a few seconds and try to convince myself that she’s not really in the room with us. It’s super weird and it’s hard to explain because I will be looking right at the bed and no baby will be present. And I’m sort of aware of that fact, but I keep on staring at the end of the bed trying to convince myself of reality. After a few more moments, I eventually wake up enough to convince myself that everything is ok.
Sometimes I need a little extra reassurance, so a few weeks back I told Rob to tell me that Dessa is in the crib if he notices that I’m sitting up in bed. And I’ve started to look at Dessa’s video monitor if I ever need a little extra convincing. Once I see her little silhouette curled up and sleeping in the crib, I get all the reassurance I need and can easily fall back asleep as though nothing happened.
So where are these dreams coming from? I have no idea. I’m not pregnant (so we can’t blame any crazy new hormones) and nothing in my life has changed to elevate my stress level. In fact, it’s fair to say that my stress levels are the lowest right now that they have been for several years. Dessa never co-sleeps with us, so it’s not like I’m outwardly exhibiting any safety anxieties about her sleeping in the same bed with us.
I will admit that sometimes, when Rob and I are feeling lazy and Dessa wakes up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning, one of us will get Dessa out of her crib and bring her into our bed for a little early morning snuggle time – which always evolves into Dessa whining and getting upset because she wants to explore and we won’t let her crawl to the very edge of the bed. My best guess is that our weekend morning routine is somehow filtering into my dreams, but I can’t say for sure. I do know that I haven’t been plopping Dessa down on the bed quite as often and I’ve had a few dream-free nights in a row.
Before Dessa was born, I would occasionally dream that a spider was crawling on or near me in bed. It wouldn’t happen very often – perhaps a few times a year. And when it did, I would wake up, turn on a light and throw the covers off searching for the offending eight-legged creature. I never actually found a spider and the next day I wondered whether or not I was dreaming or if there really was a spider. But then I thought about the rumored statistic that the average person swallows seven spiders in their sleep each year and I figured maybe the spider was real. Now that I have a new nightly wakeup, I’m starting to suspect that all of those middle of the nighttime visitors were just a figment of my imagination.
Now I’ve just got to know if I’m the only crazy one or if any other mommies experience similar awakenings in the middle of the night. Please tell me that I’m not alone and that it will all end soon!
Not crazy! I am a first time mom of a six week old and I thought I was losing it a few days ago —-I’ve had dreams almost every night since coming home from the hospital that our little one is in our bed, suffocating from the covers, even though I know he’s safely sleeping in the pack and play next to our bed. The other night I started digging in the covers in my sleep trying to find the baby because I was convinced he is suffocating. I’ve never been a sleep walker or anything either! My husband wakes up and asks what I’m doing because I’m actually digging in his armpit… And the baby is of course sleeping peacefully in the pack and play. I googled it that morning just to make sure I’m not the only momma who has had these very real feeling dreams. You are not alone! :)
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! Second of all, it seems like your dreams are so much scarier than mine and I’m so sorry to hear that. Third of all, I do find it reassuring to hear that other new mommies are having the same nighttime antics as me. Here’s hoping we both get a full night of uninterrupted rest soon – especially you. Those tiny babies are so incredibly cute but oh-so exhausting.
When I was teaching I would often dream that students from my classroom are in my bedroom and I’ll even get out of bed to start teaching. My husband oftentimes has to tell me “it’s not time for school” so i can go back to sleep. Crazy!!!
I have a 8 month old and I have similar dreams! I had them a lot more when he used to wake in the middle of the night to eat, I would wake up thinking I fell asleep and he was still in bed with us! Sometimes I think it was because of how the covers or pillows were arranged that it seemed like there was something there! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one that goes through this though!
I have this reoccurring thing where I wake up and think I have no clue where my kids are. We are always in this strange bedroom that isn’t ours and the kids are supposedly sleeping somewhere else in the house but I don’t know where the bedrooms are or anything. I’ve never been in any other part of this house. I will start to get out of bed or even make it to the doorway at times before I realize I’m home and I know where my kids are. But I have been a mild sleep walker most of my life. I hope for you and robs sake it passes quickly!
Yes! I just got goosebumps reading this because the same thing is happening to me. As you may know, my baby was born around when Dessa was and I thought for sure these strange wakings would end by now – one year later – and while they have gotten less in frequency, they still occur. I’ve had the one where I feel like she’s in bed with us and is about to fall off. I’ll feel myself lunging out of bed to catch her, but I don’t know if I dream that part of what. The other night I thought she was on the floor beside our nightstand and wedged there, so I was digging to get her out. The scariest ones are when I think she’s IN bed with us, trapped under our comforter. I’ll dig and dig and my husband will wake up and reassure me that she’s in her crib. I’ll respond “Oh, I know she is, but I just have to check the covers”. It’s absolutely crazy. I asked my doctor about it once and she said it’s just due to sleep deprivation or being extra tired. I do notice it more on the days that I am lacking in sleep. A friend told me that it could be postpartum anxiety, but I don’t have any other symptoms of that. We only coslept for a short period of time (4 month sleep regression) and she was in the Dock a Tot between us, with no covers or pillows on our bed. Oddly enough, I didn’t have the nightmares then. We also bring her to our bed when she wakes early with the optimism that maybe she’ll lay down and let us get 10 more minutes of sleep (never happens), so we have that in common too. Anyway, you are NOT alone and you are not crazy. I hope this goes away for us soon!
I dreamt she was crawling on the floor last week too! And I haven’t been getting as much sleep as I should for the past few weeks so that might be contributing too. Hopefully we will all get better rest soon!
I have no children and have the same dreams! I used to work as a children’s photographer for years and would dream of them falling off the platform that they were sitting on all the time…even did the lunge over husband move quite a few times. Your experience is so similar to mine that I actually had to laugh! I was like, are there only a few dreams that people have or what? Lol! I do have a history of sleep walking with various measures of lucidity and can assure you that you are not crazy, this is just what it is. Just as a side note, I was just prescribed an over the counter antacid and the half awake/half sleeping event seam to be happening more regularly…weird!
Yes, I’ve had the baby-falling-off-the-bed dream AND the spider one. Pretty sure my husband thinks I’m crazy, but I think it’s pretty common!
I have had very vivid dreams, mostly of a snake biting me, to the point where I FEEL the bite!! Like, a very strong sensation of that bite going through me! I even took a “dream meaning” class and basically the gist of it was very creative and imaginative people will have more vivid dreams. So it’s a complement in a weird way that we have these vivid dreams that make us so anxious, ha!
My husband actually used to have these dreams…imagine waking up to a 6’5″ man throwing himself across you to grab the imaginary baby! It has subsided now that our child is 2.5 years!
LOL! I was just commenting to Rob last night that it’s interesting that only women have the crazy dreams. So much for that! Kind of reminds me of Terry in Brooklyn 99 (our new favorite tv show)
Maria, motherhood brings on many new anxieties. I remember my husband commented that he never thought about me being so worried about things!! I don’t remember any particular dreams, but I know I had a great fear I would leave something out that the baby could hurt herself with, or on, in some split second that I wasn’t looking. Notice your thoughts during your waking hours, and see how many times you fret about some possible way she might hurt herself, and correct that issue if you can! I think sometimes our brain takes all our worries and makes it into one dream!! It will pass! :)
Please do a little research into post-partum OCD and intrusive thoughts. I unfortunately developed similar issues after my son was born.
This happened to me all the time, but it was more right after my kids were born. I would wake up in a panic bc I thought the kids were in the bed at my feet. Like I accidentally fell asleep with them and had kicked them to the foot of the bed. Many of my Mom friends have experienced the same thing!
In the early weeks of having our twin boys at home, I would wake up thinking they were lost in the covers in our bed (even though we never brought them to bed and we always got up and went to another room to feed them.) I would toss the bedding around and my husband would remind me they were never in the bed! Sleep deprivation does funny things :)
This happened to me too. I have twins and I want to say I frequently had these dreams when they were under 8 months. For whatever reason, I would dream I fell asleep with a baby (even though I never had them on my bed!) and they were lose at the end of the bed. I would wake up panicked. For me, it was just a phase and they went away. My twin boys are 20 months now!