Wedding bells are ringing and the big day is a little over 6 months away. As a woman with deep Catholic roots, I treasure many traditions and am so excited to incorporate many of them into my wedding celebration. When I envision myself walking down the aisle of the gorgeous church in which I received the sacraments and attended so many functions from my own days in elementary school, I get chills.
There is one tradition, however, in which I will not partake on my wedding day: the bouquet toss.
The bridal bouquet toss is intended to be a simple, fun way to celebrate the wedding and look forward to future marriages among those that we love. Unfortunately, for single women, the bouquet toss isn’t always an enjoyable event. When I was in my early twenties, I loved the bouquet toss! I was so young and very few societal expectations were placed upon me. As I grew into my late twenties and early thirties, I became increasingly aware of my status as a single person. Each wedding that I attended had a smaller and smaller pool of women to participate in trying to catch the bouquet. At a certain point, it starts getting really awkward.
It took a while, but by the time I was thirty; I became quite comfortable and confident in my single lifestyle. I was happy in my own skin and I didn’t need the validation of having a significant other in my life. I was on my own and I loved being me. Except for when I attended weddings. I really hated the bouquet toss. I didn’t like having to stand in front of the room full of people so I could catch the bouquet and buy into the superstition that I would be the next to wed.
As a 33 year old bride, most of my close friends and female cousins are already married or engaged. It just doesn’t seem right (or kind) to require the handful of single women in attendance to come forward and catch the bouquet. Let them be single and be proud of it without being singled out and asked to stand in front of all our guests.
I know what you’re probably thinking: no bouquet toss? What about the garter toss for the men?
The answer is no. Definitely not.
This is not so much about the discomfort that single men might feel about being singled out. As far as I can tell, most men don’t often view themselves as failures if they are still single at a certain age.
Rather, I feel mortified at Rob and I providing a show in which he reaches WAY up my dress in front of all my closest family and friends. That is a very personal act and not something I want to display for all of the guests at our wedding.
Can you imagine?
Oh my gosh, no.
No no no no no no no no no no. NO.
The only thing worse would be watching that very personal garment of mine be tossed away to a pack of single men (many of which are family). Do you ever stop to think about how weird it is that a family member would want to own an article of clothing that I had worn around my thigh all day?
To me, that is very strange.
And icky.
Very, very icky.
On my wedding day, I will walk down the aisle, say “I do”, eat, drink and be merry.
But I will not toss my bouquet.
